I'm a sucker for all those top-10 countdown shows. My favorite one right now is World's Best on The Travel Channel, where I can find out about the most outrageous bathrooms, sexiest hideaways and extreme truck stops. There isn't a better way to kill time after spending a long day glued to my trading screen.

I've put together my own list for everyone who watches this circus we call the financial markets. Saving my "best" for another column, here are the top 10 things I absolutely can't stand about Wall Street:

• Death spikes -- The latest craze is the sudden 20-point futures move that wipes everybody out. Coincidentally, these death spikes occur in pre-holiday markets, or at price levels where the most traders place their stops. Someone should remind the Chicago Mercantile Exchange that it's now a public company and needs to learn about an interesting concept called "product liability."

• Weekly jobless claims -- Since when did this meaningless Thursday release become the all-knowing harbinger of the American economy? Back in the 1990s, no one paid any attention to this overrated report, because it's statistically flawed. But that all changed when the financial media gave it a level of importance never intended by its creators.

• "Resilient" -- I'll flip out the next time I hear someone call the market "resilient" when it doesn't go down according to some secret law. One day in the life of the market tells us little about strength or weakness. At the least, let's shoot this turkey and find more original adjectives. How about "effervescent" or "irrepressible"?

• White guys in suits -- Why does everything that disseminates from the markets to the public come from white guys in suits? I'll give you a hint. The next time you're in New York, head over to Broad and Wall streets and see who's running the money. Market power has never been an equal opportunity employer.

• Buggy software -- They've had three decades to get it right, but it's still impossible to buy financial software that does what it's supposed to do. Chart and quoting programs are too complicated, undependable and awkward to use. And just when you get them up and running, they crash your system, or the software makers dumb them down with useless updates.

• Board slugs -- Anonymity cripples the stock boards, because it lets market idiots present themselves as big players or heavy hitters. Everyone has an agenda when they talk about stocks or offer opinions. The boards destroy rational communication, because any slug can start a keyboard war with little effort.

• King of the Hill -- I hate when market pros toot their own horns by tearing down other trading methods or styles. It's a sign of insecurity and lowers the debate into pointless name-calling. Everyone involved in the markets should realize we're all just fleas on the elephant's back.

• Attorneys general -- Don't we already have a regulatory body called the Securities and Exchange Commission? How the heck did every attorney general in this country get involved in securities enforcement? At its core, their involvement is self-serving and little more than re-election politics. And it does nothing to improve public confidence in the financial markets.

• Snake oil -- It's tough to write anything the markets without being called a crook. The problem is the trading industry is filled to the brim with snake-oil methods, and quasi-traders looking to take advantage of the uninformed public. If someone tries to sell you market nirvana, keep on walking and don't look them in the eye.

• Twinkie TV -- Market commentary should be more than cheesecake and happy talk. Financial news has degenerated into a sea of hotties doing poor Dan Rather imitations. Adding to this assault on our intelligence, midday happy talk has now replaced midday market analysis. Hey, Mr. TV Programmer: We don't want Oprah. We want information.